In case it wasn't clear in my first post, I am a slave to beauty trends. Most recently I've jumped on the Korean product bandwagon. I read some blog somewhere while noodling around the internet that raved about this SU:M37 Miracle Rose Cleansing Stick so I immediately bought it. As in, didn't do anymore research, didn't really think about it critically, just immediately sent my credit card number to someone in Korea. Which is a totally reasonable reaction to reading some blog I can't even remember at this point, especially being a subject matter expert in data privacy and security. So you can imagine my relief when I received a confirmation email in broken English with a smiley face after every sentence.

Whatever, I'd do it again.

Naturally it took about six weeks to get here, after apparently getting stuck in Seoul for a couple weeks. Have you guys tried to navigate the Korean postal service's website? I think that I did, but in reality I'm not convinced the site I kept using was indeed KPS. Luckily, it wound up popping up in New York so I was able to track it from there. I came home on Saturday full of anticipation and found a "sorry we missed you" notice from the post office. WHAT? I have to SIGN for a SOAP? ARGH! And of course I couldn't do that until Monday, so I just went online and scheduled it for re-delivery.

Was it delivered Monday? Nope. So I called USPS and waited on hold for a thousand minutes until someone answered, and the most she could tell me was that she could also see that I had, in fact, rescheduled delivery. "Do you know where it is though? Can you see if it got lost?" I asked. To which she responded, "No, this is just a call center." What? So it literally is just a call center, it is a center where calls go.

Anyway, I re-rescheduled delivery for the next day, knowing full well it wasn't going to show up. Then I call my post office four times and don't get an answer four times, so I did the logical thing and creepily hovered around the front door the next day. Finally the mail is delivered and I run out the door, chasing after the mail lady like a mad woman. Even better, she had headphones in so she didn't even realize I was chasing and yelling until she turned around at my neighbor's door and I was a foot in front of her face like:

Naturally she didn't have my package, so I put my lazy buns in the car and went to get it. 

Once I got home I tore into the box and oohed and aahed over the packaging in all its Korean glory. And the samples! Let's see what I got:

Ooooh Benton! Since 2011! But ... what is it? What do I need to do with this? TELL ME HOW TO PUT THIS ON MY FACE AND I WILL. 

Luckily the back of the package explained it all to me:

Ah, yes. Of course. Snail bee steam cream. Snail bee. Steam cream. Of course I Google this mess and find out that YES. There is SNAIL MUCIN in this cream as well as BEE VENOM. Oh, and it also contains urea. You know, that stuff in pee. However, according to this blog I just found, "The urea contained in skin care products like this one is actually synthetic, which means there is no pee in this, or any other face cream." And I trust this assessment, because it comes from a blog I found when I Googled "snail bee." 

But seriously, I'll still put this on my face. 

So back to the actual product that I ordered and waited a month for. It is, more or less, a stick of soap.

A very pretty stick of soap! I eagerly opened it and only then did I conveniently recall that I do not particularly like the smell of roses. I'm not sure why, I know it's pleasant, but every time I smell it I feel like I can taste it. And roses taste bad, according to my nose. What?

Anyway, it does smell like roses, but not cloyingly, so it doesn't bother me. Of course I wanted to try it right away, to allow for the wizardry to begin. But I realized I wasn't exactly sure how to use it. Was it like a cold cream? Do I cover my face with it or just smudge a little here and there? Am I scrubbing or patting? Luckily the box had detailed instructions. 

Unluckily, they were in Korean. But I think I've got the idea here:

1. Put a bagel on my head.
2. Smell hands
3. Hold product
4. Apply product
5. Deeply smell hands

Anyway, I just treated it like a normal soap, just, you know, in a stick. What is kind of neat about this product is that there are ACTUAL ROSE PETAL bits in it, which kind of act as little exfoliators. The formula does definitely clean and moisturize well, which is a big deal to me. My skin dries out really quickly, and who needs eyebrow dandruff? But as far as it being the miracle it's hyped up to be? I really don't know yet. I've only used it twice. What did you expect? This whole blog is just a transparent excuse for me to listen to myself talk.

That said, please stand by while I slather myself with snail bee. In the form of steam cream. Snail bee steam cream. I'll report back.