Best Of / Holy Grail

I was thinking about how I am writing about all these fun new things but I haven't mentioned my tried-and-true products that I always buy or is something always come back to. They need a shout out too!

But first! I will mention my most recent fun new thing! My favorite beauty blogger is Maskcara and she featured it. I wholeheartedly trust this woman, and it's Japanese (the product, not Cara), so of course I was intrigued. But could I do it? Could I branch out from my Korean products and try a Japanese product? It's what is called a liquid exfoliant called Cure Natural Aqua Gel. Basically it's a watery gel that you apply to your face after washing and drying it, and rub it around like you would any normal soap or exfoliator. BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS MAGIC. Your dead skin starts to ball up on your face. You can SEE and FEEL the dead skin coming off! Then once your face looks like a pilly sweater you rinse it all off and move along to the next step in your routine, and then strut around like you have a fancy secret. Then you have to show it off by making everyone who visits try it, as Mom and Jenna can attest.

I know what you're thinking. How do we know it's not just the product balling up? Well for one, it balls up less and less the more you use it, presumably because you have less dead skin. Two, if you use it where you have less cell turnover, like your inner arm, you don't get as much of a result. Three, let's be honest, I really don't know for sure, but I'm sold! I can't find an official website so I don't want to pretend I'm sure what the ingredients are, but multiple sources are indicating it's full of good stuff. However, I'm pretty sure it has some form of alcohol (you can smell it). I've seen on YouTubes and read a few reviews that says it does not contain alcohol, but I'm not sure that's true. But it's on the internet so it must be fact.

BUT YOU CAN SEE IT COMING OFF YOUR FACE! Here's a random YouTube with a demonstration.

So back to the "best of" section.

1. Cleanser: Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser

It's true what all the experts say! Cetaphil really is ideal. No scent, very gentle, non-drying. Now it's important to note that I'm talking about the Gentle Skin Cleanser and NOT the Daily Facial Cleanser, which basically come in the same packaging. You can put it on your face and wipe it off like cold cream, which I love, in case you need to wash your face without water ... ? Which leads me to my next product.

2. Face wipes - Burt's Bees Sensitive Facial Cleansing Towelettes 

I like these because sometimes I don't want to put water on my face and the Cetaphil is all the way downstairs. But really, I use them to remove eye makeup so they're gentle enough that it doesn't sting. I mean, they're face wipes, what else can I say. Next!

Whaaaat, so weird, that's not the right picture! How did that get there? Here's the right one:

3. Lotion - Nivea In-Shower Body Lotion

I LOVE this stuff. I love the concept, even if it's a total racket and probably is the same formula as regular lotion. But you put it on IN the shower! 

I have used the Oil of Olay version for almost ten years, and Nivea just recently came out with its own version, which is even better. I promise, it really does make life easier. You're nice and hydrated and not scaly now that it's short season, and you're not sticky. That is the biggest difference to me - I have never found a lotion that doesn't leave you a little sticky afterward. Is there anything worse than trying to shoehorn on some skinny jeans after lotioning up? Is there anything worse than trying to shoehorn on skinny jeans, period? Is shoehorn a verb? You don't get that awful dampness with this stuff. So whether it's just good marketing or an actual unique formula, it's something that's worked well enough for me that I've used it for a decade and will continue to. My ONLY complaint is that the smell is very cloying. It's that sort of generic lotion smell, which can be nice, but it's very strong and sort of sweet. I use the "Very Dry" version. And speaking of shorts season ...

4. Self tanner: Tanwise Dark Bronzing Sunless Mousse

This stuff is a godsend. I no longer have to bring a purse full of sunglasses to pass around to friends and family when I attend a BBQ. It is also courtesy of Maskcara, so her recommendations are 100% as far as I'm concerned. I always buy it from Sally Beauty (which, incidentally, has been hit with two data breaches in the last year, sooooo perhaps I'll suggest Amazon instead). You MUST also buy a mitt though, there is no way to apply this stuff with your bare hand. You will look absurd. Trust me on this one. It's easy to apply, once you get the hang of it, and it goes on dark so you can see where you've put it. The one downside is you will look like a patchy bronze monster directly afterward

because of that immediate tint, but a few hours later you wash it off and underneath is the glowiest of glowy glows you could ever ask for. Because it's so strange looking at first I always put it on at night, then put on full PJs to try to minimize staining on my sheets, then wash it off in the morning. And yes, it WILL eventually stain your sheets after a while, but I honestly don't know of any tanner worth its salt that won't. Anyway, you'll wake up and see your bronze-monster-self and go, "What did I doooooo?!" and then you will get in the shower and see all the color swirling down the drain and go, "Where is it goooooing?!" but then you step out and tada! Glowy McGlowerton from Glowingtown.

5. Hair Stuff - Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray

This is the only product on my list that's pricey. It's hard to even explain! I think it's pretty similar to the Big Sexy product Amanda described a few posts back (sidenote - this reminds me of a thief apprehended a few months back in Alexandria who goes by the name Fat Nasty. He was busted after a string of burglaries when he stole some ice cream and left his prints on the freezer. I am not making this up.) Anyway, this stuff is sort of like a colorless dry shampoo that kind of just roughs up your hair and makes it feel a little dirty. So yes, I wash and condition my hair and then put expensive product in it to make it dirty again. It's not greasy like dirty hair is though. It's more powdery. It just gives it a little hold that is sort of like hair spray but not sticky in any way. But it helps give you that texture-y, choppy feel that helps if you're going for the chic-messy, undone ponytail / bun look. The one that Amanda has totally mastered, incidentally! Did any of that make sense?

And now I have to go, because Fat Nasty reminded me of ice cream, which reminded me we have some in the freezer. Hahahaha just kidding I was thinking about it all day anyway.

Snail Bee

Ummm. I bought the snail bee cream. I totally went for it. The sample felt like butter and smelled like what I can only imagine snails smell like. Maybe toasted snail. But the cream itself was fantastic. It held moisture better than anything else I've tried, I swear. I was bummed when the sample was all out! So I once again found myself swirling down the Korean product spiral.

But let's back up so I can talk about another one of the samples I got in that package. It was one of those full sheet face masks that looks scary and aggressive. Fancy right?

It's really just a paper towel type thing marinating in whatever solution was in the envelope (full disclosure - I'm not sure what was in it and I was equally willing to put it on my face). Don't I look thrilled?

I'm putting it all out there for you guys. This is how you know I love you. I started laughing looking at myself and the sheet started to slide off my face so this is me trying not to smile. I also considered creeping up on Russell while he was sleeping and scaring him but I figured that was a good way to get karate chopped in the neck. 

Yeah I think that was the right call.

Ok so back to snail bee. I did some research on where to buy Korean products because as much as I'm joking around about it I did want to know a little more about what I was getting into. There are a few online stores operated here in the US - I looked at SokoGlam and Peach and Lily which had the products I was looking for. Apparently Urban Outfitters sells a lot of Korean products too! But I wound up going back to the shop I used actually in Korea, W2Beauty. Their prices are better and there's free shipping to the US ... somehow ... so I put my big girl pants on and waited an extra week or so in exchange for paying half as much. HALF! And as far as I can tell that's not an error in exchange rate. As far as I can tell, I said. So far. 

The snail bee cream I actually bought is not the same as the sample. Instead, I read some reviews and wound up buying a well-known brand called Mizon Multi Function Formula - All in One Snail Repair Cream. Just for context, I paid $20.19, while Peach and Lily charges $38.00. Also, I like to read the name not as "All in One" Snail Repair Cream, but rather as "All in One Snail" Repair Cream. These are special snails, people. 

As I keep reading it seems as though Koreans use so many products - as in, 10-14 every morning and night - because each product has a specific purpose, rather than all the multi-purpose products we see in the US. Which totally contradicts the idea of the "All in One" cream I bought, and further supports my hypothesis that it's really all in one snail. Anyway, I decided to also buy a serum by Mizon, because I've also read that it's better to stay within one brand if you're layering products, but naturally that lead to a whole other spiderweb of research. So then it became a choice between the Collagen 100 and the Peptide 500. Oh and the Placenta 45. Wait, what? At this point I was pretty deep in the product black hole and had a moment of suspended disbelief, like, "Well maybe placenta translates to something else in Korean. Or maybe this is like the urea in the snail bee cream, like maybe it's lab created." But then I looked at the picture:

Look, even the baby is like, "Oh damn this is happening." And look, I can't read Korean (although I probably should by now), but I'm pretty sure I can translate the picture below. All the highlighted text says, "THIS IS PLACENTA THAT YOU WILL PUT ON YOUR FACE, THIS IS FROM INSIDE A PERSON'S BODY, WHICH THEN COMES OUT OF THEIR BODY, AND THEN GOES IN A BOTTLE, THEN YOU PUT IT ON YOUR FACE." As you can see, Korean words are much more concise than English. And the upper right venn diagram is like, "These are all things that are more appealing to put on your face than placenta."

I was so fascinated I Googled it to figure out if this actually is what it seems like, and if so, how the heck does this actually happen? I kept thinking I was missing something. Like when you think about genocide or something, how your brain is like, "This is a thing that happened but you, brain, will never fully grasp what it means that this is a thing that has happened. It exists in spite of your inability to process its existence." My brain was like, "I'm seeing that this is a thing but I can't understand that it is a thing so I need to find some context in this world to help me come to terms with it." And I could find NONE OF THAT. It is still a total mystery to me. However, I did find a Reddit thread that accurately articulated my feelings: "I swear at this point there isn't much that I wouldn't slather on my face. Placenta? Sure! Pureed pancreas from a rainbow unicorn? Bring that shit on!"

No I didn't, you guys. I drew the line and went with the Collagen. 

Oh but the samples! Can I just say I don't really understand samples because you're probably not going to be married to a product from using it once or twice (*cough* snail bee).

I'm wondering if there is a limit to how much snail one can put on one's face. Also, I'm sorry, but the Soothig Gel is out. Unless soothig is a word in Korean and it's not just a misspelling (note - I just misspelled misspell). 

Ok ok, how about some good old American products? I recently bought Benefit's new Roller Lash mascara. It is supposed to be amazing at curling lashes, which I could use. And it DOES! Is it completely amazingly life-changing? Not really. But is it good enough that I haven't used my eyelash curler since I bought it? YES! You be the judge. These pictures are after two coats on top, none on the bottom, a good four hours after I put it on.

If nothing else, I swear by this trick. Before you even start putting makeup on, stick your mascara in your bra. I'm serious. Your skin will heat up the formula and it's that much easier to get it to glide on with minimal clumpiness. Seriously!

Stay tuned for my review of Beaver shampoo and conditioner. Yeah I'd never heard of it either.